


A Chance for Better

by AwkwardDuckProducktions



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Also because I said technically read with caution is suicide is a trigger for you, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Ideas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Jon has another bad idea, Spoilers for New Episode: Weaver, Suicidal Thoughts, Teasing Martin is the archives favorite past time, Technically it's not a suicide attempt bring that the goal wasn't to die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 10:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20080597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardDuckProducktions/pseuds/AwkwardDuckProducktions
Summary: Melanie finds Jon at his lowest.





	A Chance for Better

Melanie didn't want to be here. She would rather be anywhere else but  _ here _ .  _ Here _ brought nothing but death.  _ Here  _ brought nothing but anger she didn't understand. But she was the one to find him, so here she was. In the waiting room, paralysed by thoughts of potential outcomes. She remembered the first time she was here for him, mere months ago. She remembered cursing his still body, unable to tell her why was he saved. Why Tim was gone. Why Daisy was gone. She couldn't find herself to visit after that silence.

"Ma'am, are you here for Mr. Sims?" The doctor, tall and forgettable, broke her trance with his question. She wanted to tell him no. That no one was here for him. Yet her head nodded anyways. "Did you know-"

"No." Her voice found itself out the edge. "And no, he doesn't take normally. This was a one-time thing."

"He certainly did try to make it that way, it seems." His hands tapped against his clipboard as he prepared himself for the part Melanie dreaded. "We will have to keep him here for a bit."

"I'm familiar with the process." Her words drenched in venom she almost missed. "Is he awake? Can I talk to him?"

"He's awake but-"

"I need to talk to him. Our coworkers want to hear it from him." And she wasn't lying, surprisingly. Basira and Daisy did want to hear that he was okay... so they could rip him a new one.

"I can take you to him." The doctor misunderstood her anger as worry, she thought. Not another word was said as the two walked through the halls. Though her lips were silent, her thoughts were loud and unforgiving. She never wanted to be  _ here _ again. She never wanted to be  _ here _ again because of  _ him. _ Her blood boiled with every step closer. Every step closer to the same room months ago.

But unlike the memory, he sat with his back straight, watching the night world live. That was his job, wasn't it? To watch. To know.

"Sir! You know you're not supposed to be up!" The doctor rushed to his side, much to Jon's surprise. He noticed the doctor first, as his hands guided him back on the pillows beneath. Then his slow gaze met with hers and that look of shame found its place on his pale lips. Whatever scolding the doctor gave, it fell to deaf ears as two stared at each other. Melanie's rage against Jon's shame, a conversation of no words but louder than a storm. Once placed securely on the bed, the doctor bid his farewells. Her body refused to move from the edge of the room. Like as if she remained perfectly still, maybe he wouldn't notice her there and she could make her escape as soon as the night called for him again.

"You're probably wanting an explanation." His voice like dried grass underneath rubber soles of summer. The IV dripped in time with her heart on her ears. "I will, just not-"

"I want it now." Her voice demanded. She crossed the room, hand on the wall as if she feared she'd drift into the mess as well.

"They would probably lock us both up if we talked about the things..." He let the sentence fall from his lips unspoken. All watching eyes closed as he focused on his breathing, barely audible over the machines that surround him. Each breath a labor in his chest and a fight to gain hold of. An idea came to her as she watched this morbid display. The armchair in the far corner by the window was nearly the same sickly pale tan of his skin that begged for a touch of the sun. Melanie took her seat and whipped out her phone. Jon struggled to open his eyes when he heard his phone chimed. A shaky hand reached for the device. She watched him try and try to grab his phone, to open the message.

_ You can tell me like this. No ears to overhear. _

The blue light detailed each new line across his taut face as he typed. Not trusting her mouth obey, Melanie bit her tongue as she opened his response.

_ That's true. For a moment, I thought you were going to tell someone that I was in the hospital again. _

_ I've already told Basira and Daisy. _ Her fingers flew without control.  _ I'm deciding on should I tell Georgie. _ She stole one more look at him, his body curled to the side all too small for the big machines. All too young for the dark circles under his eyes. With a sigh, she deleted that second sentence and hit send. His face fell still upon reading her reply. Hands slowed by the perpetual tiredness that haunted him took what feels like hours to send his reply.

_ I suppose they deserve to know. _ She almost started typing back a bitter remark until she noticed he was still typing.  _ I'm sorry you had to find me in that position. _ Her teeth sank into the fleshy inside of her cheek as she tried to restrain from screaming at the idiot.

_ You mean half dead in storage surrounded by God knows what? You mean that position? _

From her seat, Melanie couldn't see his eyes. But it was unmistakable the way his shoulders stilled as he hit send.

_ Yes... That one.  _ She waited for him to finish, her heart so very loud in her ears.  _ I wasn't trying to die, to be fair. _ Melanie had to roll her eyes at that.  _ If I die, then someone else will be there Archivist. _ Her grip tightened around her phone.  _ I wouldn't wish that on anyone. _

_ Explain. _ Was all she would allow herself to type. Not the searing burning rage in her mind. Just one word.

Melanie watched him type with clumsy precision and a shake in his shoulders with each rattling breath. When he paused to rub his eyes, she knew of his tears. Hours or minutes passed before he set the phone down, eyes reddened and unfocused.

_ I figured that if I could manage to fall into a coma again, then no one could replace me. It was supposed to be a win-win situation. You and Basira and Daisy wouldn't.. have to worry about me being a monster. _

_ I might be a monster but I will care. And I know you hate me and that's something we can agree upon. _

_ _

She read the messages again. And again. Each word melted into the cracks of her thoughts until there was nothing but those words. Her fingers typed and deleted. Typed and deleted.

_ Honestly, I didn't think you were going to stay around here. I know you hate me and probably felt a little relieved when I was out of the equation for the world's end. _

She let the darkness enclose in on her as she squeezed her eyes shut. Couldn't stand those words anymore. Couldn't stand him anymore. Couldn't stand any of this anymore. Melanie kept her eyes on the keyboard as she typed, unable to read those words one more time.

_ I don't hate you. _

She hit send before she let her lungs fill with desperate air. There was only silence shared between the two until a low chuckle came from the bed. She looked up to see Jon staring at his phone with a smile and tear stained cheeks. "I don't hate you." Rage boiled out through her throat. Fingers dug into the armrests like a pathetic attempt to hold her back. His stunned eyes met hers and she nearly didn't recognize the person staring back. "I don't hate you." She said again. Jon pulled his eyes away to type a quick message.

_ For a moment, I thought you were going to follow that message up with "I  _ despise  _ you." _

Melanie had enough. "Jon, I don't hate you." Her hands relaxed to her lap. "And I don't despise you." She unclenched her jaw, took a deep breath, and told the person staring back at her with eyes she remembered. "I can't afford to hate you."

"Of all people, I think you definitely deserve to." He laughed in a low rasp.

"It's not funny." Her voice like a hammer against the nail of his coffin, the laughter stopped immediately. "And I don't wish I did." She opened her mouth you continue, but then thought about the next words and decided to type.

_ I guess our situation is reversed now. And if there were something I could just dig out of you to save you, I would. _

_ But there is no bullet. There's just you. _

His hands started typing his quick response but she continued.

_ And you are terrified. You're scared. And right now you're probably thinking that there's only one way for this to play out. _

_ I've been there. _

_ And I can't hate that you're there now. _

His fingers stopped. His shoulders stopped. His everything stopped.

_ And I'm sorry that I have made you think that I hate you. _

_ Because I don't. _

_ I let my own fear choke out the fact that you're still Jon. And you're just a pawn like I was in a game with beings beyond our control. I can't hate you for something you can't control. _

In an instant, his fingers came back to life with vigor.

_ But I can control it. That is what I was trying to do. _

"Jon, coma isn't controlling it!" Melanie jumped from her chair. "Death or near-death is not controlling it!" Jon stared back with eyes she knew all too well. The same eyes she saw in herself long ago. "And I am sorry for my part in your twisted thinking. For someone who is the Knowing Avatar, you really are bloody stupid." His eyes fell from hers and back to his phone. His hands still frozen in place. She was surprised in herself that she managed to leave him speechless. "I don't hate you... Reason why I'm telling Martin of your latest dumb idea." That seemed to break the spell on him.

"Melanie please."

"What were you hoping was going to happen? Leave him here to cry over you again? Him to not know that his crush is essentially dead again?" A shamed blush spread across Jon's face. "No, he's going to know what you tried to do and I'm hoping that he'll get the fucking idea that we need him." He remained silent on his bed, the red bringing life back to his face. Almost looking perfectly human.

"Are you at least going to tell him my reasoning?"

"Oh, I will." She felt a smile crept close, grabbing the corners of her lips. "And he'll sputter out something along the lines of 'that bloody idiot' and 'I can't believe I like him.'" Her hand covered her lips but still the amusement she was having shone through her eyes. "Hell, I might just get him while he's in the middle of drinking tea so he does a spit take." There was a careful bite but Jon couldn't help the smile that was creeping on his face as well. A moment of stifled laughter was shared, in the back of both minds they wondered why this had taken so long for this to happen. Taken so long for them to become something akin to friends. A silence no longer tense fell between them. "You're still human, Jon. And I will help you keep you like that." Melanie watched him try to form words as tears started to line his eyes. "And I will talk to Daisy and Basira about cutting back on the monster talk. You're not there yet."

"What if there's no stopping it?" He finally asked. His grey hair could only hide for so long just how young he was. How scared he was.

"I will say this once." Melanie walked carefully next to him, the mess she had feared no longer a threat. Just a scared person. Just like she was. "You saved me. We'll figure out how to save you." Wide brown eyes let tears fall as he exhaled a shaky breath with a smile.

"Thank you." Barely a whisper, but she heard him all the same. Just a scared person like she was. Ready to change like she had. And for a moment, she thinks they have a chance.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Hahaha, I started writing this BEFORE the new episode.


End file.
